I’ve slept on my decision now for three nights. I’m still having second thoughts about bunion surgery.
The anesthesiologist assistant I called at the surgery clinic did quell my fears about the anesthesia. She said, “I can answer your questions. This is very routine. You probably don’t need to talk to the anesthesiologist but I’ll give him your message and if he feels it’s necessary to talk with you, he will call you.” Note: I didn’t get a call, but this is one time when I can really appreciate the meaning of “routine.
Last night I had a reflexology session and “foot reading” with Jane Sheehan who I mentioned in a previous post. After talking with Jane and hearing her comments about my personality style based on my feet (spot on), hearing about her experiences with clients whose feet really did change with focus and exercise and her conversation with a Pilates instructor here in San Diego who has a strong interest in working with people with bunions, I am beginning to think that I haven’t left every stone unturned before opting for surgery.
A fellow bunion sufferer who had surgery said, “I didn’t tell anyone I was having surgery because everyone has a different opinion and I didn’t want that to affect my decision. I just did it and I’m glad I did. I can run again without pain.”
She has a point about keeping your own counsel AFTER you’ve made your decision, and…at the same time, I think it’s important to stay open to your thoughts and feelings in the moment and continue to ask what’s best “right now.”
I’ve had conversations with both camps – Camp 1: Don’t cut! Heal your foot naturally – if you’re willing to do the exercises regularly, you can find relief without surgery, Camp 2: Do the surgery now or you’ll be back in a year or two with a worse situation.
There’s a Camp 3 that I didn’t pursue: Explore more options in depth (orthotics, Feldenkrais, Pilates, Alexander method, rubberband exercises to pull The Great Toe (I love that image!) into alignment, wear proper shoes (Oh no! Not Grandma’s black tie-ups). Commit to these options for a year and if I don’t find pain relief, have the surgery next year.
A lot to think about…along with all the people I’ve already involved in helping me, already paying the insurance deductible, and dealing with the fallout if I cancel the surgery.
The bigger questions seem to be:
- Do I believe I can change my feet (and are my feet are willing to change <smiling>) without surgery?
- Do I trust and follow my intuition, which seems to be sending me all sorts of options I haven’t considered and am I willing to wait for longer-term results?
- Do I stay on the path of least resistance given all the pieces that are in place to move forward with surgery on Tuesday?
What would you do knowing what you know now? Where you ever in this situation and if so, what did you do and what was the outcome; was it a good decision?
I want to make the right/best decision for my long-term health and ability to walk and run and dance for the rest of my life. I know the answer is within me. The question is whether I can clear the space to hear it and trust it.
Decision Monday will be here in less than 48 hours.
[Post surgery note: Find out the rest of the story in my ebook Bunion Survivor’s Guide to Bunion Surgery and Bunion Surgery Recovery.]